Protocols in Qatar

Men and Women

Women's rights in Qatar have advanced considerably in recent years. Women can drive, with the permission of the men in their family, and often hold positions of responsibility. Women working in Qatar are often treated with the greatest of respect - see Men's Verdict: No Women Judges.)

Honour is also important for men, and they have a duty to prevent women from bringing shame upon their families.

1. If you are a man don't ask other men about their wives, unless they mention them first. Don't ask their names, don't ask how they are. I have made this mistake before and been gently told off. You can get around this by the polite "How is your family?" Asking about children, on the other hand, is fine.

2. Do not ask a member of the opposite sex to meet you in a closed room. At the very least keep the door open and make sure you are clearly visible through the open door. Men should not object if a woman brings along a close relative to a private meeting. Try to meet in semi-public places like a library.

3. Men should allow women to keep their distance. Avoid all physical contact – although a handshake can be returned if it is initiated by a Muslim woman. Equally, a woman should not initiate a handshake with a Muslim man. If you are a woman and you do not keep your distance from a man, the man might assume you have a sexual interest in them. (Not all men, I'd like emphasize, just some.)

4. Depending on where you work, do not ask a women to remove her neqab (face covering). I know a person who was fired for requesting this – and she was a woman. However, in some institutions, such as the Supreme Education Council, women are discouraged from covering their faces.

Greetings and Physical Contact

While contact between unmarried men and women is anathema, it recently seems to have become acceptable for married couples to hold hands in public. Even Qarari couples (married, of course) can now be seen holding hands in malls and shops.

However, it is quite common for men (unmarried!) to hold hands. The standard greeting between men is also a kiss, usually repeated, on the cheeks. (Bedouins may prefer to touch noses). Unfortunately, I have one Arab friend who always insists on giving me a big bearded kiss, usually accompanied with the words, "Come on John, you're in the Gulf now," as I veer away from him. Thankfully, most Arab men seem happy with a handshake. When shaking hands with an Arab man, make sure you maintain eye contact - it is rude to look away.

Complaining!

When I first came to Qatar and asked for something, I wondered why some people in authority would say "No, khalas, finished," to a request. Surely a simple 'no' would do. After a while I realised that the matter rarely was finished. Rather than accepting a no from a person in authority, many people will carry on complaining and fighting – and, as often as not, getting their own way in the end.

This is in fact rooted in culture. While Arabian society has not traditionally been democratic, people have always had access to their leaders, and the ability to air their opinions and complaints.

Talking

Qatari men can be quite quiet and thoughtful. However, residents from other Arab countries seem to be uncomfortable with silence. Situations like exams seem to place a real strain on them. On the other hand, interrupting and simultaneous talking are both normal and acceptable, and should not be taken as deliberate rudeness.

Eye contact during conversations is important, although you should avoid staring at women.

Family

Family is immensely important, certainly more important than any business meeting you might have. So if a person has a family problem, expect meetings to be delayed or cancelled. Men also feel they have a duty to protect the honour of the female members of their family.

Politics

Unless your point of view is similar to the general consensus here, it's probably best to steer clear of politics. Israel and Palestine are particularly touchy subjects.

Religion

Islam is the most important part of most Qatar residents' lives, and ranks above friends, country and even family.

1. Discussing religion - Again, unless you are a fellow Muslim, it's just not worth talking about this to people. If you try to convert someone you will be breaking the law, and could be deported. If you want to discuss religion, try Qatar Living, where you can do so safely and anonymously.

2. Mohammed – Do not criticize him. Following the cartoon controversy in newspapers in Europe, this is a particularly sensitive subject.

3. The Koran – Always treat the Koran with utmost respect - many Muslims wash their hands before touching the Koran. Muslims believe that Allah handed down the Koran to Mohammed. As Mohammed was said to be illiterate, this is considered to be a miracle. Challenging this or treating the Koran without the utmost respect is deemed to be heresy. Some Muslims here even object to the Koran being placed under other books.